cashew wrote:

> Hi. My name's Cashew (yes, I consider myself a nut) and I'm an alcoholic.
> I'm 33 and have been drinking since the age of about 16. My daily intake was
> around 2-3 bottles of wine (more if I finished that and the off licence was
> still open). I had a life changing spiritual experience using psychedelic
> mushrooms on July 17th and haven't had a drink since.
>
> I thought I had it sussed. My mental and physical health improved immensely
> as did my broken relationships with my friends and family.
>
> Yesterday I met up with an old school friend / drinking buddy I haven't seen
> for months. It was a normal thing for us to go out to the local for a few
> beers and a take-away.
>
> My alcoholic mind returned. I began to justify a 'night off' being
> alcoholic! One night won't hurt etc. It was like someone had flipped a
> switch in my brain whereby I felt I was entitled to go 'socialise' like
> other people. My friend, knowing my situation was great in that he manage to
> perusade me it was a bad idea. So, we had a quiet night in.. watched TV and
> went to bed sober.
>
> This morning I awoke feeling shocked guilty at last nights plans. How could
> I have come so close to drinking again despite all I have been through!?!
> How do you deal with encounters like this?
>

I thank my higher power for puting puting situations and people in my
life as gentle reminders when I choose to forget.

A couple of years sober found me attending a military leadership school.
It was 8 weeks long and at a base in North Carolina (I was stationed
in MA at the time). Since the school ended near our anniversary, my
wife and I were planning a trip to Niagra Falls for a little "us" time.
While booking the suite I found out it included a fruit basket and a
bottle of wine. I had just about convinced myself that it would be OK
to drink the wine since it would be just the two of us in a hotel room
and it wasn't that much alcohol after all, when my roommate brought in
some beer and offered me one.
At the begining of the school my room mate had brought in some beers and
I had had to explain to him that I don't drink.
About a week after I had decided it would be OK to drink the wine, we
were cleaning up our room and he asked me why I couldn't have just one
beer. I started telling him how it was that first drink that made all
the others possible. How I had never been able to reliably control my
drinking after I had started and so the only to guarantee I wouldn't get
drunk was to not take that first drink.
As I was talking to him I realized what a mistake I was about to make.
You see, we usually already know what we need to hear. At meetings I
generally hear it. This particular occasion my Higher Power knew I
wasn't gonna get it anywhere else so he araigned for me to hear form myself.
Luckily, I got it and left the wine alone (although my wife enjoyed half
a glass)
How do I handle moments like these? I thank my Higher Power for helping
me through a moment of human weakness and try to learn from them. Try
to remember these lessons in the future and draw strength from them
during subsequent moments of weakness (they will happen).
Congratualtions on making it through and good luck in the future.

Joe